


i hate you

by blamethenargless



Series: What's My Line, Part 2 [2]
Category: Leah on the Offbeat - Becky Albertalli, Love Simon (2018), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Alternate Universe - Buffy The Vampire Slayer Fusion, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Hate to Love, Inspired by Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV), Matter of Life and Death, Trapped In A Closet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-26
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-07-02 16:50:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15800655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blamethenargless/pseuds/blamethenargless
Summary: “Shit,” Suso swore, and her breath smelled like cinammon, so close to Leah’s face. She still hadn’t released Suso’s shoulder. “I can’t believe that I’m stuck spending what will probably be my last few moments on earth here with you!”orThe Slayer's left her lackeys to do her work again. But they can't seem to get along.





	i hate you

**Author's Note:**

> As always, I own nothing.
> 
> You don't need to have watched Buffy to understand this fic at all, but if you haven't watched it, I recommend you do. Because it's an amazing show. Also, I made Abby a little bit meaner and Taylor a little bit nicer (though Taylor is only mentioned).
> 
> Some dialogue lifted directly from the show, from season 2 episode "What's My Line, Part 1". From "I can't believe..." to "Uh huh", and then from "The memory of..." to "Good!" is direct dialogue from the show.

Of course it was fucking vampires. It was always fucking vampires.

“Stupid shits. It’s the middle of the day,” Leah panted.

“You’re the stupid shit, Burke. We’re in the middle of a pitch black maze. They so have the advantage,” Suso replied, a few paces behind her.

“Save your breath, Suso.”

The two ran in silence, hands out to feel along the walls as they navigated the Hall of Mirros. Fucking vampires. Suso was right. They did have the advantage, especially because they couldn’t be seen in mirrors.

Suddenly, Leah felt a latch beneath her fingers. She pulled, and saw a room with a tiny window in the corner, through which sunlight filtered in. _Maintenance room_ , she thought, and grabbed Suso by the arm to pull her inside. “Come on. We’ll be safer in here, least for a little while.”

The room was even smaller than it had looked at first glance. It was probably five feet by five feet, and if they leaned on opposite walls, they could almost be comfortable. The door was heavy, locked up with a bar across the back of it, which could fend off the vampires for a little bit, at least, once they discovered the pair. In the dim light, Leah could just barely make out Suso’s scowl. The girl was usually a ray of fucking sunshine, but never with Leah. It was almost as infuriating as her usual brand of hyper-niceness.

“Fucking vampires,” Leah said again. “Remind me why we’re dealing with Taylor’s issues again?”

“Because she’s too busy being the Slayer. Aka boning Nick. Guitar-playing, soul-having, dumbass vamp.”

Leah scoffed. “You’re one to talk, Suso. Didn’t you date him?”

“For a hot second, yeah. Didn’t your dead best friend have a huge crush on him?”  
“Don’t you bring Morgan into this, you little– You know what. I’m not even gonna waste my breath on you, _Abigail_. But yeah. We’re stuck in this hellhole-and that’s not even a joke, ‘cause you know Shady Creek is the Hellmouth-and Taylor’s off screwing Nick and she allocated this job to me and Bram, her lackeys. And you know Bram’s back at the library doing hackery shit with Simon, that witchy guy, sitting in his lap. So I had to take you. Joy.” Leah kicked her shoe into the ground. As much as she would be loathe to admit it, she found Suso very attractive. It could have been worse. Still, the girl annoyed the hell out of her.

“And tell me why you don’t have any holy water or stakes or even a cross on you?” Abby asked, her tone condescending and her voice dripping with contempt.

“It’s no more my fault that it is yours, asshole. And it’s because I _thought_ Taylor would put the end of the world above her boyfriend. But I guess not. So here we are.”

“Here we are,” Suso echoed.

Leah didn’t even know how Suso got indoctrinated into the group. Some time in their sophmore year of high school, an invisible girl had captured Taylor and Suso and tried to cut them up as revenge for being popular, and then, in their escape, the two bonded. And Suso stopped being as mean. And she only mentioned her metabolism about twice a day now, which was an improvement. But she was still a first-class douche, and now, freshmen in college, little had changed. Leah was surprised no one had booted Suso from the group by now. Nick was still a little starry-eyed over her, but Taylor liked to ignore that.

“Why do we even have to fight these specific vamps?” Suso asked.

“Jesus, you don’t pay attention at all, do you.”

“Well, not all of us are in love with Taylor and hang on to her every word, Burke,” snapped Suso.

Leah ignored that. “Because they’re trying to kill her. They’re always trying to kill her. This time, it has something to do with that insane girl and her brother of sorts. Who knows. Everyone in Shady Creek is insane. Villains, heroes, all of them.”

“And who are you in all of this?”

She laughed, a low sound without mirth. “Me? I’m just the sidekick. Comic relief. Fat girl doing whatever the girl who was her bisexual awakening wants her to. I’m the stupid one, too. Bram’s a genuis, and Taylor won’t admit it, but she got into Brown and Carnegie Melon. She’s more than the blonde hair and the obsession with vampire boyfriends who will break her heart. And, you know, Bram’s ex was crazy smart too. And his current boyfriend is pretty smart. So I’m the dumb one. Wait, you’re the dumb one, too. Except for that you’re not _really_ part of the gang, so does it count?”

Suso’s body twitched in anger. “I’ll have you know I got into Columbia.”

Leah burst into laughter. “Yeah, right. Sure you did, rich girl. So why are you stuck here, at UGSC?”

“Because I’m not a rich girl, alright? My mom lost all her money, and my dad’s still in D.C., and I’m not a kid anymore so he doesn’t have to pay child support. That’s why. Jesus. You know Nick actually bought me my prom dress, even after I had broken up with him?” Suso sighed, and drummed her nails against the wall. In the dim light, the dark circles under her eyes looked even more pronounced, the sharp twist of her mouth even more angular.

Leah felt sorry. But she was too proud to say so. Instead, she just shrugged.

“I’m not surprised you don’t feel anything,” Suso grumbled.

“Ha! As if I haven’t been poor my whole life? As if I don’t deal with a whole boatload of shit for being fat and bisexual, too?”

“You’re white, dipshit. I’m not.”

“This isn’t the fucking Oppression Olympics.”

  
Suso rolled her eyes. “Shut up. Really, just shut up.”

Leah crossed her arms over her chest and narrowed her eyes, cutting them to the side. She didn’t want to look at Suso. And she felt bad for saying what she said. Because the other girl was right. Still, she kept her mouth shut. Isn’t that what Suso wanted?

The taller girl started to pace.

“What the hell are you doing, Suso. We’ve got like three feet of square footage here.”

“I’m not just gonna stand and wait for vamps to kick down the door. You may have desparation and a death wish, which gives you vigor in a fight, but I don’t. I want to keep moving, keep thinking,” Suso said, her voice loud as it passed right by Leah’s ear.

Leah stuck out an arm, grabbed her shoulder, and stopped her. “Seriously. It’s annoying, it echoes in this tiny-ass space, it gets nothing done, and it’s loud, which means the vamps will find us.”

“Like you care. Just days ago you were begging those zombies to blow up the school with you in it.”  
Leah tightened her grip, expecting Suso to wince. To her credit, the other girl didn’t. “I’m gonna hold you here so you can’t move.”

Suso sighed. “Be my guest, Burke. Be my guest.”

Minutes ticked on, awkward and silent. Leah’s thoughts swam through her head, a fluctuation of _fuck she’s pretty_ and _damn she’s annoying_ and _I really should get paid from the Watcher’s Council for this_. And occasionally, she thought of Nick and Taylor. Just to pass the time.

Suso huffed, blowing stray curls out of her face. “We really are going to die in here, aren’t we? It’s not like we can get through that window.”

Leah shrugged. “I mean, we have a broom in the corner there. We can break it and make stakes.”

“We’re not fighters. We’re not as bad as Simon, but we’re certainly no Taylor, or even Nick.”

She was right. But Leah didn’t want to say that, so she kept quiet. She couldn’t even look the other girl in the eye, because then she got lost in the ocean of soft brown light that danced through her irises, and then she forgot how much she hated Suso, and then her brain turned to mush and she couldn’t try to think of an escape plan.

“Shit,” Suso swore, and her breath smelled like cinammon, so close to Leah’s face. She still hadn’t released Suso’s shoulder. “I can’t believe that I’m stuck spending what will probably be my last few moments on earth here with you!”

Rage built in Leah’s chest. “I hope these are my last moments. Three more seconds with you and I’m gonna—”

Suso snorted, cutting her off. “You’re gonna what? Coward.” She flipped her hair back with a toss of her head.

“Moron,” Leah shot back.

And oh, did that seem to stick. “I hate you,” Suso seethed.

“I hate you!”

Banging sounded outside the door. _The vamps_ , Leah thought. And then _I’m about to do something crazy._

She released Suso’s shoulder, only to thread her hand through the soft hair on the back of her head. She pulled her in and kissed her, passionately.

Suso sighed into the kiss. Her hands fell forwards, framing Leah’s face as she leaned in as close as possible. Her mouth moved quickly, frantically, and she nipped at Leah’s bottom lip with her teeth. Leah’s other hand found its way to the small of Suso’s back, where it pressed the other girl’s lithe body towards her own.

A harsh pound on the door jolted the two of them forwards, and they fell in a tangle of limbs on the ground. Leah looked up abashedly. “We _so_ need to get out of here,” she breathed.

Suso nodded her vigarous and nervous assent. “Uh huh.” She pushed herself up and, finding the broom, broke it cleanly in two over her knee. She offered half to Leah just as the door crumpled inwards and two vampires pushed their way in.

“I’ll take the short one, you got the tall one!” Leah shouted. She ran over to the window and shoved the broken broom handle clean through the glass, causing sunlight to hit the floor in a patch in the center. “Move there!” she shouted, backing towards the natural defense.

She felt Suso’s back hit her own, and then the fight truly began.

She parried the vamp’s clawing hands with her own arms and the broom handle; she dodged kicks and bared teeth. Her heart pounding, she had only one thought on her mind: _stay alive_. She could feel Suso heaving against her, could hear the other girl’s shouts and war cries.

Blow after blow, she stayed standing. Minute after excruciating minute, she managed to keep herself alive.

Leah struck a fist into the vampire’s solar plexus. When he was doubled over, she palm-struck his septum and shoved the pointed end of the broom handle through his back and into his heart. Within seconds, he was a pile of dust drifting on a gale through the shattered window.

A shout from right behind her. She swiveled around to see the other vampire, a tall, fit woman of about thirty, with her teeth stuck into Suso’s neck.

Leah’s vision ran red. She grabbed the vamp and Suso, and dragged them both into where the sunlight struck the floor. The vamp screamed in agony and extracted herself, clawing at her smoldering face.

With one hand, Leah held up Suso’s limp body; with the other, she stabbed blindly at the vampire. And in only two tries, she landed a lucky stab on the still-blinded demon, turning her into nothing but ashes.

Quickly, Leah lay Suso on the floor. She checked the wound and the blood flowing from it. The vampire hadn’t fed for long, so there was no worry of the girl dying. And she certainly hadn’t sucked the vampire’s blood, so she wouldn’t Turn. Good. All good.

The sun glanced along her throat, her skin almost glowing. Leah was overcome with the urge to put her own mouth on that throat and start kissing. She shook her head. She was _not_ attracted to Abby Suso. It was spur-of-the-moment, one-last-thing-before-I-die kiss. Nothing more.

She pulled out her phone and dialed Taylor. The girl had better have finished her sex, because Leah needed a ride home.

 

\----------

 

For almost a week after, Suso avoided her in the halls. She was a cooler girl, and it was already rep-damaging enough that she had been hanging with the losers since sophmore year of high school. So Leah rarely saw her outside of Slayer business at all. Still, whenever she saw the other girl in the hallways now, Suso would all but sprint away.

Leah had had enough. She stalked right up to the gaggle of cheerleaders after Psych 101. “Excuse me,” she said, her voice cloyingly fake sweet, “but I need to talk to Abby. Y’all won’t mind if I borrow her, will you?”

Taylor, bless her heart, being one of the cheerleaders, answered for the group. “Not at all.”

Suso’s eyes were wide with embarrasment as Leah dragged her into an empty classroom. “Jesus, Burke, can’t you keep your hands off me for a damn second?”

Leah slammed the door and did an abrupt about-face to look at the taller girl. “Look. I don’t like it any more than you.”

Suso scoffed incredulously. “You jumped me!”

“I did not!” Leah protested. _Liar, liar, liar,_ her brain sang. “The memory of your lips–” (here she emphasized with a point at the incriminating lips in question) “on mine makes my blood. Run. Cold.”

Suso stalked forwards. “If you dare breathe a word of this–”

Leah laughed, loud, cutting, and clear. “Like I want anyone to know!” _Liar, liar, liar._

Suso’s face fell, then, just a fraction. But she was disappointed. Leah could tell. And the thought of that made her heart burst. _Maybe she likes me_ , she thought. And then: _I don’t care if she does._

_Liar! Liar! Liar!_

“Then it’s erased,” Suso said decidedly.

“Never happened.” Leah took another step forwards.

“Good.” Suso matched Leah’s step with her own.

“Good.” Leah lifted her chin defiantly.

“Good.” Suso closed the space between them until they were only inches apart, standing in the middle of an empty classroom. Lights dark, desks strewn about them. Islands in the middle of a sea of confusion and chaos.

Leah’s eyes roamed Suso’s body. Her curly hair swept up under a gray beanie, a jacket thrown over a blouse and leggings, her sneakers. Her arms, toned from basing in cheer, and her legs, worked through from dance. Her throat bobbing as she swallowed. The warm brown of her skin, the depths of her eyes. Her button nose. The light dusting of freckles splattered like a constellation across her cheebones.

Leah grabbed her and kissed her. And this time, she thought, she would never let go.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos/Comments always appreciated!
> 
> To anyone who has watched Buffy, I sorta blended Buffy canon across seasons to make it semi-fit with how I had the characters parallel to (Taylor=Buffy, Nick=Angel (with certain bits of Xander in regards to his past relationship with Abby), Leah=Xander, Abby=Cordelia, Bram=Willow, and Simon=Tara). We had bits of season one and season five in there. Who knows. If anyone has any questions about that aspect of this, I'm happy to attempt to explain in the comments.


End file.
